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27 February 2012 @ 07:04 pm
A not-interesting post  
So last week I decided that I'd start trying to go places by myself to work on getting over the weird anxiety I get at the idea of being alone anywhere... even in Australia there were times when I couldn't even stand being alone in my own house. Anyway, I decided I'd try going to a nearby okonomiyaki place to have lunch one day.

I put it off, and continued putting it off... I had food in my fridge/I was saving money/I was going to go out with people later anyway... aaaaaaaaand finally today I mustered the effort. That first step was ridiculously hard! And I kept wanting to just go back to my room and curl up in my chair and play L4D... thankfully I didn't, and I calmed down some until a ute playing some announcement drove past and I started getting a bad feeling again. Buuuut I managed to make it to the store and have lunch, yay!

The way back I freaked out though, not so much that I had to call Kyla (who said she didn't mind if I called her if I freaked), but I rushed the way back which I regret so much. It was such a nice day, and I didn't even try to calm myself down until I was back at the uni gate closest to my old dorm.

It's not really a long walk to the okonomiyaki place, seriously it's really not... but (this is kind of a little silly, maybe, since it's not that far) I'm kind of proud of myself for actually going out and wandering a little bit (even if it was close and it wasn't really wandering as I had a destination) cause I didn't freak as much as I thought I would, I didn't cry, I wasn't shaking by the time I got there, and I didn't give up and just not go. 

So yeah, not a very interesting post... but that's what I did today (other than play Left 4 Dead 2 some more).

Speaking of L4D2, I was expert-ing my way through Dead Centre and FREAKING KYLA SNEAKS UP BEHIND ME AND WATCHES OVER MY SHOULDER AND I SAW HER AND I SCREAMED! ... She's managed something that my dad has yet to accomplish. Damn XDDDD I'd already died like 7 times in Hard Rain on expert today, so when she arrived during Dead Centre I was completely in the game. Gyah, I had not been expecting her at all lol
Current Mood: Happy
Current Music: alice nine.
The Leftover Mushroom: /Zenhopelesslynuts on February 27th, 2012 10:38 am (UTC)
Anxiety can be a bitch to get over... But it's good your trying! If you're really that bad then you should be proud!

^^ Maybe keep at it? Try going there again on your own a few times till you get used to it and don't have to run back home again... And then go a little further each time!
kurikuribebikurikuribebi on February 27th, 2012 02:50 pm (UTC)
I don't have a fear of being alone...But I hate it because it's so darn boring. Like the person above said: Take it one step at a time!
Kim: Cornelia & Euphydemented_koneko on February 28th, 2012 01:14 am (UTC)
I become a bit anxious being out and about by myself sometimes. I just feel really self-conscious, yet when I'm with someone I won't even think about it.

That's great that you were able to get yourself to go out. :)
デルフィアス様delfeus on February 28th, 2012 09:03 am (UTC)
Don't be too hard on yourself for rushing the way back. It's already really good that you managed the trip there. Maybe now that you've gone once, next time you'll have an easier time and can take the return trip a bit slower? :)